


Good Enough

by Nedzuku



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age Inquisition - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 08:25:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17863844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nedzuku/pseuds/Nedzuku
Summary: When the silence of night surrounds you, the overwhelming pressure of anxieties and past demons can weigh too heavily to bear.





	Good Enough

_Quiet._

Everything around Ezra was silent. The only sounds to be heard were the soft breathing from Dorian sleeping beside him and occasional mountain gusts teasing at the doors of his chambers. It was _too damn quiet_.

Ezra exhaled slowly and ran his hands over his face, attempting to free himself from his thoughts. The battle with Corypheus was near—any day now, he would come out of hiding and make his move. There would be more fighting, death, destruction, struggling to make things right-

 _Struggling_...Despite all of his struggling thus far, it was never good enough. No matter how many rifts he closed, no matter how many enemies he took down, how many people he saved...more kept dying. There were always more rifts left to close, more demons to slay, more parties to persuade in the great game...

It was never good enough.

Ezra’s chest tightened as anxiety began to wind around him. Suffocating. Strangling. He would never be good enough. 

_His father, teaching him to draw a bow at the age of five. Ezra fumbling with the string as he prepared his bow, his arrows flying wide of their intended target, the look of disappointment on his father’s face..._

Not good enough.

 _Discovering his magic abilities and training under the keeper and his mother, her smiling face, he was regarded as a prodigy within his clan, she was so_ proud- 

_His father scolding him for spooking his prey. It got away. He was_ ten, _he should know better, he was_ too old _to be making these kinds of mistakes..._

Not good enough.

Ezra’s breath clawed out of him, escaping in ragged gasps. His head pounded with silent thoughts, screaming at him to run, to just _give this all up-_

_Turning thirteen, his mother giving him a pendant and holding him close. She told him he was a wonderful son and he would do great things with his life. He didn’t understand. What brought this on? Why was she acting like this?_

_Two months later and she was dead. All that magic he had learned, all those_ ‘miracles’ _he could work; he was supposed to be a_ prodigy _-and where did that get him? He couldn’t save her. He couldn’t do_ anything. _He was worthless...She was_ dead.

Not good enough.

Clutching his chest. Too tight. Couldn’t do anything. Head screaming thoughts racing anxiety heart beating too fast in his chest can’t escape _too much-_

_First to the keeper. He was sent on missions for the clan, regarded as an asset for maintaining his clan’s security and resolving conflicts._

_Mission at the conclave. Spying on the proceedings. Hearing yelling, crying, screaming, the Divine restrained, orb rolling toward him, darkspawn launching terrifying Corypheus approaching-_

_Grabbing the orb. Anger, rage, plans foiled. Thrown into the fade, spiders and fear, running. Divine saving him, he didn’t deserve it, she was gone, sacrificed herself, running away again, through the rift-_

Never good enough.

Panic climbing, clawing, can’t breathe, can’t think, ribs crushed, constricting, choking, heaving, tears streaming down his face—

Muscled arm, wrapping around his torso. Gentle hand, tangling into his hair and caressing his face. Deep and soothing velvety voice, in his ear, whispering, mustache tickling ever so slightly—

“Sshhhh, Amatus. You’re fine. I’m here.”

Curling into his chest, sobbing, breath coming fast. Shuddering exhales. Sturdy, grounding grasp around him, keeping him real, holding him steady.

Breathing slowing, thoughts clearing, tears drying, the tempest in his head receding. Deep breaths, a calming presence holding him close. Warming, enveloping silence, wrapping around him and soothing him.

Ezra sighed gently and buried his head into Dorian’s shoulder. _This was okay...He was okay._

“I love you.”

“And I you, Amatus. Always.”

_Maybe, for now-this was good enough._


End file.
